Mindset Quote And Welcome

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Life is 90%, um, 10% how what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it. And someone told me only losers talk about what happens to them, winners talk about what happens for them.

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You are listening to the gospel in the game sports podcast. Your host, Danromarski.

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Welcome to the Gospel Game Sports Podcast. I'm your host, Dan Dromarski, and with me today is Khalil Carter. Khalil Carter is a former professional football player. He's not only played the game, but he understands the game extensively. You'll discover that quickly as he talks a little bit about his coaching career, about his playing time in the CFL and the Arena Football League. But also Khalil has a passion for developing men of character. You'll see his name around the sport and you'll recognize him as Coach Sweg. I hope you enjoy this time now as we talk to Khalil Carter.

Teacher Or Judge After Football

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Khalil, I'm gonna put you here on the spot. If I could take you and I could put you into a profession that's not a sport, what's your profession?

SPEAKER_02 1:27

You know what? Probably a teacher or a judge, a magistrate.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

A judge? Ooh, like we're going past lawyer here. Like you're gathered. Is it the bang the gavel? You want to bang the bang the gavel and just say guilty or not guilty?

SPEAKER_02 1:46

I want to just show people grace in the midst of their troubles and be able to show them uh the light and the path forward, even if it means a consequence is there. Um, because sometimes you gotta take a decrease, the increase.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

So I love that idea of uh being able to help people see uh without being self-righteous, just kind of where they may have gone wrong and where they need to do to correct that.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

I put that verse on almost everything I do. John 3 30. He must increase, I must decrease. I was gonna ask you a question off the top. I was gonna say, what's your biggest fear? But man, that question is I ain't going there. I'll go there later, okay? Uh well, welcome everyone to the Gospel and the Game Sports Podcast. I'm your host, Dan Dramarski. With me is Khalil Carter.

A Life Built Around Football

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Khalil, you happen to be very good handling a ball. Tell me a little bit about the sport that you've been blessed with playing for just a little bit of your life.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah, so uh I was blessed to be a professional football player. Um, I was even more blessed to have a journey that was not um the easy road, um, that it was paved with uh many obstacles, uh many setbacks, and uh many trials and tribulations. Um football to me was um it's a great way to involve my faith um and also to create fellowship and brotherhood amongst men because it is one of the only sports that men play only professionally, not that women can't play, they just don't. Um and so uh I started playing when I was six years old. I retired at 34, and then I coached from 34 to now. And so pretty much my whole life I've been a steward of the game and uh and one of his ambassadors. So thank you, Lord, for giving me an opportunity to be be uh be used.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Now, you get in and get into football at six years old? Six years old. Did you have siblings that play and you're like looking up to someone, and that's how you dived into it?

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Yeah, actually, it was my older brother. Uh I I can tell you my brother was Marshall Falk when I was a kid. He was amazing at everything. I mean, school, RLTC, football, the girls liked them, but it also was my mother. My mother has in front of the TV every Sunday. She was a Washington, Washington Commanders fan. Um, but it was the Redskins back then.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Yeah, formerly known as the Redskins.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Formerly known as the Redskins, and uh, she just loved them. And I was the one kid that didn't want to fall in with everybody else, so I was a Cowboys fan, and she did like that. But man, the Thanksgiving was a great, great day for us to watch all of our teams play, and I got to watch the Cowboys, and I still did love the John Riggins and the Art Monks and the Mark Rippins and the Joe Thiden, who I actually got to meet several times in my career. Wow, what an experience.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Now you're talking about some legends in the game. I you look back in a sport of with history, they keep their like their history, like they have high regard for their players and their all-stars. And uh, you look at the lifespan of a football player, it's not overly long. But when guys are highlight players, they're highlight players. And I love how you pointed out that it's a sport amongst men. Um, because I think, you know what, hey, God has made us unique, God has made us for purpose, God has made us in his design, and it's a battle. I think the only thing that I've ever heard described outside of the difficulty of playing football is I've actually heard from a football player talking about the difficulty of hockey.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

The skating, the skating alone is just mesmerizing to us because we run and we fall and we get up on some pretty decent soft grass or turf. That ice is unforgiving, and those boars are undefeated. So absolutely. I played arena football on many a hockey rinse with turf, and that wall is undefeated. So, shout out to all the hockey players out there.

SPEAKER_03 6:03

I need you to do me a favor.

Arena Football Rules And Culture

SPEAKER_03 6:05

I've been thinking about this for a week. Talk to me about arena football. How okay, let's go to the basics. Okay, we got we got some time. Give me the basics of arena football. How is it different from the National Football League game?

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Yeah, so I'll tell you that the similarities there's tackling, catching, running, touchdowns, all that penalties, uh, yardage, first downs, all that same. But it has one man in motion, like the CFL has six. We have one. That person is usually the offensive specialist or the primary receiver. And so it is eight on eight. So it's kind of like what you would see in seven-on-seven today with the kids, plus one more player. And so that eight-on-eight, because you have a basically you have three linemen, but that eight-on-eight is a unique passing skelly. We call it full, full tackle Skelly. And so it's all passing. You would have, if you had 70 plays, 50 of them were poly passes, 20 were a mixture of different things. But you're talking about throwing the ball all over the place, guys, throwing for 100 touchdowns in a season, 300 yard games, almost every other game, and you give up touchdowns, you have a short memory, and you keep coming back. And the NFL is a slower game, a lot of running, a lot of first downs. Score could be three to nothing. I've seen a game that was 103 to 3. So it's a very exciting game. Kurt Warner made it that much more exciting with his path to the Hall of Fame. And we all just loved it. Traveled in big cities, got to experience. I even was in Toronto. Toronto had a team that was really cool to Toronto Phantoms in 02. Just the AFL was the all-fun league. And that's how we looked at it. Not too serious, got paid good money, lots of fellowship, great travel, great football.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

I love it. The all-fun league. Okay, if it that if you have the National Football League, you got the all-fun league. What was the CFL then?

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Oh man, the complete fan league. Because in the Canadian League, those fans love their football. They love their Canadians, they love their rules, they're unique to them, they love their ratio. Uh, and they love being outside in the cold in November in Winnipeg when it's minus minus 30, freezing that butt off with no shirt on, Saskatchewan. They're out there going crazy. Watermelon on their helmets watermelon helmets. Come on, baby. That's that's uniquely Canadian. Um CFL just had a very NFL feel with a very friendly vibe where the fans are right there. Your players are accessible, no one's a super duper millionaire or untouchable. And that makes football fun when the fans can engage you, get to know you, and actually see you at the bar down the street right after the game. So really, really cool league, maybe the cool fan league.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

There we go.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

But really great game, and I love the fans. Thank you so much, Canucks, for making me a part of what your experience has been.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Yeah, and uh me and my co-host that's usually with us, Dave Dawson, were conversing a little bit, and we were talking about some old Toronto Margonaut memories with Damon Allen. And so a really neat connection in this season three. Ed Joseph was a former wide receiver, Edmonton Eskimo. Him and I had a long conversation about parenthood and mentoring and a few other things and talking about the athletes. Really good episode. Um, but one of the things that came up was starting a church in Edmonton, and Damon Allen used to go to this church in Edmonton, Edmonton Community Worship Hour. And then Damon Allen went to Toronto, and I remember falling, you get to meet some of these players and you get to see their career and how things progress and how things changed for us.

The Undrafted Grind And Resilience

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Talk to me about what it's like growing up playing, dreaming of football, but then being an undrafted player playing football. Can you walk me through a little bit of that timeline and just talk to me, just put us through some of those steps?

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Yeah, so the dream is big. We're told our whole lives that only a small percentage make it. And so we know that it's very competitive from the beginning, from youth football or flag to tackling to high school, handling being a student athlete for the first time to going to college and being a student athlete, which is one of the hardest things I can think about physically and mentally draining when you have to practice and go through drills and two-a-days and off-season program and 6 a.m. workouts. Not that every athlete doesn't experience it, but when you're football, you're hitting, you're hurting, you're dying literally almost every day in some way, physically. And then you want to be drafted, but your college career kind of dictates that. So you kind of know, like you hope, you pray, you dream that you'll be drafted, and you get to be the number one draft pick on the stage with the commissioner with that hat on, and they call your name and they cut out to your family, and you're smiling or crying or laughing, or all three. And then for some of us, we don't have that experience, and we go through draft day, undrafted, and we have to go on the journey of being our journeyman or a free agent. And it's scary because the sand man reapeth, man, he comes, right? And so you don't want that name call. You're in training camp, you're a lowly rookie, you're making no money right now. You got a contract for a minimum amount that you want to really make because it's the most you probably ever made still, and so the dream is still there. And you hold on to that dream and you give it your all, and everybody has been cut at some point. So you get cut, you get picked up, you get cut, you get picked up, you change leagues. It's just a major um stressor. I mean, some guys go gray at 25, 30 years old because it's a stressor. Uh for me, I never thought that I would be drafted because my experience was tough from playing only my senior year to being a walk-on, to not getting drafted, to playing arena football, to making it to the NFL, to the Canadian League. I just was blessed. I was thankful. I was grateful because walk-ons don't make it this long, walk-ons don't make it that high. And I think historically, I'm one of the more successful walk-ons that never got a scholarship. You got Baker Mayfield, you have TJ Watt. They all had scholarship offers somewhere else. Or they got a scholarship before they they finished playing. I didn't. I went to pro football, never have been a scholarship player, only playing one year of college football. And so I think I played with anybody tell you to play with me. I played with a chip on my shoulder because I had something to prove. I was not Rudy. They called me Rudy. I was, and I love Rudy. Rudy's a great movie, great man. But I wasn't Rudy. I belonged. I had a lot of talent. I was raw, and I was a journeyman, kind of a project. And at every level, I was a quick understudy. I learned from the veterans like a Damon Allen, like a Les Brown. Um, and I learned and I got better every snap. And by the time I was in my 2830s, I was one of the best cover guys in football, period. But my NFL window had closed because of sports hernia derailed my NFL career. And if you remember, Donovan McNabb had it, Jeremy Shocky had it at that time the science wasn't out. It was he's going to get slower and slower every year. And I remember I was playing for Montreal in 08, and Tim Burke and Mark Tristan brought me and said, You had a great season, but we don't want a 32-year-old halfback who's slowing down. And that was the end of my, I went to the Great Cup, and that was the end of my CFL career. So I immediately turned to coaching, which was another passion, another journey, another challenge. And I think I was up for it, but I needed God much more. Even though I had God throughout the whole process, He protected me, put a hedge of protection around me, sent angels to me. He protected me from hurt, harm, and danger. But as a coach, there were lessons to be learned. And that was probably the hardest journey for me. And I couldn't play anymore. I couldn't play for the players. I had to step aside and allow them to blossom under my tutelage. And it was a difficult journey. Being prideful was a very major obstacle for me as well.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Wow, you're you're touching on so many things that I want to get into. I want you to put on your scouting hat to start here, but in a unique way. I want you to scout you as a youth. Scouting you as a youth, what kept you from being a scholarship style player?

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Yeah. Um, I was a slow developer, to be honest. I was small in ninth grade, 5'8, had a gross spurt, 10th grade, um undersized. I went to college at 165, 164, just a small frame kid with a with ability, but not a lot of playing experience. So it was all about well, what can he do? He hasn't done, we haven't seen a lot. Let's see what he can do. And every stage I kept passing tests. That's what it was for me. It was being a walk-on, will he quit? No. Now it's being a pro. Well, will he let being a backup or not playing as much stop him? No. Then it was going to the NFL as an undressed reagent. Will he commit fully and and and survive? And it was yes, even though I got cut a couple times, it was yes. And then I finally found my home, which was the CFL where I that was my NFL. I belonged there. I had a pretty dominant statistical career, and I felt at home. So finally I was up at the same level as guys who had been to Oregon and USC and Alabama and Notre Dame. And so that kid, when I became a coach, I was looking for that kid. I wanted to see that development, that character, that resilience, that never give up. I want to see that guy, not the guy that always had the scholarships or the five stars or the red carpet. Because those guys come with their own pluses and minuses. But this kid that earned it, this kid that built it from the foundation up, who was never going to quit until he achieved what he needed to achieve, that's the kid that I wanted to be on my team. And that's the kid from the found.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

I love it. I love it. You've talked a few times here, talking about this thought of perseverance, thought about pushing through. You and I talked a little bit about it before we started recording. And I think one of the elements that God does, as he's molding and shaping us, he has us to go through things so that when we look back in hindsight, there's purpose for it. And like you said, you're looking for that kid now in like what you've gone through. So let's now look at the kid that you were and that you're you're going through these things. And you talked about getting cut. I I think that's such an important lesson to learn. And the guys that don't get cut, they it's so easy to get filled with pride. It's so easy to get filled with arrogance. It's so easy to just have all these things start building up. And those the stuff that's in your closet, those skeletons in your closet that ended up coming out when the closet's never been opened, bam,

Getting Cut And Taking Criticism

SPEAKER_03 17:56

right? So now you're being cut. What lessons did you learn by being cut through the process? What how did that mold you and shape you?

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Yeah, well, two things stand out. One is that every loss is a lesson, right? And Mark Tressman told us as much as we love football, football doesn't love you back. It just takes from you your youth, your strength, your health. And so going through it knowing that there was an inherent risk of injury. Um it was just always on our mind that when is when is my final day? When is when is my last game? When is my last play? This knee, this concussion, this shoulder, what what's gonna happen? Um But it wasn't as scary as it was exciting. It was like, okay, I'm up for the challenge. I can't wait to see what happens next. It was like a roller coaster. And for the guys who never experienced being cut, um, some of them can't handle it because they've always been the poster child for success. Well, success and failure are the same process. Winning and losing are the same process. It's how you handle it. You can win like a loser or you can lose like a winner. And I think the people who handle it well, who either they get forced out of the game or they get cut or they get injured out or they never make it. Knowing that you gave your all is the greatest lesson because it's not about being the best, maybe for Michael Jordan or LeBron James or Tom Brady or Anthony Cavillo or Damon Allen, maybe for Mike Pringle, those greats. But for us guys who are mere humans, it was about being our best. And I think I gave my best to the game of football, and I think I took from it what I could, and I think I gave a lot more back to it. So I'm happy with the wins and the losses.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

The wins and the losses, it's easy to be acknowledged for the wins. It's hard to sometimes hear about the losses. One thing comes in when your guy loses criticism. How do you handle criticism as a not only as a professional athlete, maybe you want to put on your coaching hat on this one, maybe you want to put on your scouting hat on this one? How do you handle criticism?

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Yeah, um humility, meekness comes to mind. I'm not a very meek man, I'm a football guy, so I'm a coach too. So I'm pretty rough around the edges, pretty strong-willed, and I can also say I'm prideful. And what I learned is pride goes before destruction. And all these guys who think they're the top notch, a hearty spirit goes for a great fall. And we all experienced that at some point in time. You just have to have the grace of understanding that you didn't deserve it in the first place. It was all a gift. It's the greatest gift to be able to live your dream, no doubt. But that it can be taken at any moment is always a reality. And you have to cherish it while you have it. Because some guys' careers last three years, most three years and they're out. I was blessed to have a 10-year career over 13 seasons in five leagues. And so I got to go around everyone. I know everybody that played, coaches in the NFL, guys in the NFL, Hall of Famers, and that experience overshadows the losses. It overshadows the cuts, the friendships. Life's about relationships. It's not about winning and losing, it's about relationships. And all the brothers I have, the fellowships, that's true winning. And it helps you be able to give the grapes that you want. For guys who may be struggling, guys with CTE, guys who may have quit, or guys who hated your guts. I mean, it's real. I see guys that hate my guts, and I'm like, but I love you, brother. But I love you. I love you for being you. Thank you for being authentic. And as long as I can be authentically me, no matter if I'm hater. Loved, I think God is smiling on me. So I'll take that grace all day.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

I love how you built in the framework of relationship. I actually spoke with someone today, and we talked about how this podcast came to be.

Faith In A Secular Locker Room

SPEAKER_03 22:14

And I've mentioned it before, and I'll just quickly touch on it again. Um, one of the key elements was meeting with a pro athlete and his dad, and the young man was upset when his dad left the table where we were having a meal, and he said, I'm the reason why my family doesn't go to church anymore. I got too good at sports. And so we wanted to start having conversation about that and dialogue and how the church can come in and support the athlete, and how can the athlete still involve be involved in his faith? And being a person of faith and being so involved and ingrained in sports and wanting to desire and have relationships. How do you deal with other athletes who maybe don't understand the relationship component that you understand as a person of faith? Yeah, empathy.

unknown 23:08

Empathy.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Like I was I was the underdog. And I had to fight, you know, hard. But I think being able to empathize with their story, um, being able to have compassion for their understanding of faith or lack of faith. Um, I met some really great stewards of faith. Uh come to mind right now. Damon Allen's faith is so strong. I love his newfound faith. He is an amazing ambassador and a minister of just God. And I remember Eric Crouch, I met him. What a great, godly man. Oh, I love Eric Crouch and Dan Alexander. Um, I can go on and on with guys that I just admire their faith. And then I met guys who didn't have much faith that they they they live a life that was very secular. And the sport is secular. It is, it's a secular sport. We kind of do some violent things, a lot of cussing from the coaches on down to the cheerleaders. And you have to find your way. Um, there's a lot of pitfalls in football with the drugs, the alcohol, and I don't mean drugs like illicit drugs. I just mean medicine, period. Things you take. I think I popped a thousand milligrams of ioprofen every year for 10 years, every game for 10 years. Yes, I'm sure my kidneys are like, Stop it! Um so you gotta find your way. And it's easy to get lost in the alcohol and the and the and the women and the partying, and you gotta have a foundation of faith. Even if you lose sight of it at times or backslide, God doesn't leave you because you may feel like you're walking alone. You see one set of footprints, that means God is carrying you. And that's what you eventually learn when you're old enough to understand why. Why am I here? Why did God let me? Why did God allow this? You start to not question him like Job, but you now start to understand him like Nehemiah. I'm going now, I'm on the right direction. Before I was born away from Nivea because I didn't understand God's purpose for me going there. Now I understand why God turned Nehemiah around and sent him back. And so, just like with Job, eventually Job understood. He questioned God, he eventually understood. And I think we have a little bit of Job in all of us because at some time point the God's gonna take your dream away. He may give you another. Some guys don't find that second passion. But what an example Job is for all of us of how much that stuff really doesn't matter if you're in a relationship with the Lord.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

I let I heard it one time described the Old Testament is the march of the unqualified, where you got the the Jobs, you got the Jonah's, you got all these people. And I and you you you think about it and you're like, okay, wow, it's like all these people, God's the faithful one in the relationship. We can look over and see how many times is man, man after God on the start, David, uh like making mistakes, you're putting in a position of a king, even kings rise and fall. But the fact of the matter is that God's the faithful one in this relationship. You've had some examples that you mentioned of men that kind of like good guys to look up to. As an athlete, when tempt when temptation comes, and I love the hope that you instilled in commenting about how the temptations happen, but God being faithful and coming back to him. How does an athlete like speak to me about how does an athlete deal with just the pressure? We uh I don't want to be cliche and just say even peer pressure, but it is. It's even the people closest to you.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

Yeah, yeah. Um faith is a it's a long journey, it's a winding road, it's valleys and peaks. God is the mountain. Okay the way you are supposed to deal with it is you're supposed to stay close to the mountain. But we often veer to the edge of the pathways and see what's on the other side instead of just hugging the mountain. Um, I think when the temptations come, literally there's the devil over here and the angel over here. And as many times we get it right, there's gonna be times when we get it wrong. We choose the wrong path. We choose not to hug the mountain, we choose to walk on the edge of temptation. And I'm no I'm no um exception to that. Um, I have made many mistakes in my walk, in my journey, but I know God is a forgiving God. I mean, blessed is the man that walketh not in the pathway of the ungodly, or sit up in the seat of the scornful, okay? And his delight is in the law of the Lord, and that law doesn't meditate both day and night. And if you are in your word, you can stay close to the mountain. But many of us fall to the temptations and we don't even pick up the Bible unless it's something going wrong. And many Christians do that. When something's going wrong, we look for God. When everything's right, we thank Him, but we don't stay close to the mountain. I say hug the mountain. Go on your journey, but hug the mountain. And if football players did that more often, I know everybody's not of the same faith. Not everybody believes as I do. But for those who do believe in something higher, if you stay close to that source, you get fed directly from it. You did you go visit the storehouse where the word is delivered, you start not to see some of those temptations. They become invisible to you. You can feel them. The pressure, the temptation, the peer pressure, the God, hey, let's go out, let's go out, let's go out. And every time you say, No, oh man, you know, I'm hugging the mountain. As a coach, as an older man, hugging the mountain is easy because I'm old, I don't nobody want me no more. I'm old man.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

I'm that old, I'm that old bag of towels that needs to get taken care of there in the corner. Someone will get to me eventually. I love how you talk about that coming to the mountain, and you know what, you're right, because I think everyone's kind of on a different part of their journey. And I think so. Um being involved in sports and you see it, and some people are really kind of just they're fighting it because they see successes and failures all around them, whether it's their own or someone else's. And I think you touched on something where Jesus says, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to God but through me. And and there is no one compared with Christ, period. There's no other God but God. And but there are people searching, there are people searching, and I think that's what you mean about the higher powers, where there's some people that are just like, I know that there's something there, I know that there's something that you have and I want it, but I just don't know how to get it. As a football player on and off the field, you use the example even of language. How do you show your faith as a professional athlete?

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Yeah, I think um the word that came to my spirit is consistency. Uh being a light, but being consistent. People want to know who you are and what you stand for. And that could be activism. We saw what Colin Kaepernick did, even though I don't know if he ever invoked Jesus' name and what he was doing. I think he's a faithful man, but I don't know what he really believes. I've seen I've seen from the kneeling to the praying to the uh to the guys at the Olympics with the fist up, to the even even guys who are on a different different side of tracks than me or or anyone else, and they believe what they believe and they follow who they want to follow. I think it comes down to consistency, having a message that you can believe in and stand behind. Because if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. And for the guys who don't know God, don't know his law, don't know his love and his grace, I think they kind of just live like plants. They just grow and they wither and and then they think they're gonna be gone. But man, what a mighty Lord we we serve, who is able. And I think that without being cliche and without just putting my own faith above anyone else's, because I'm very careful not to do that. But I know who who I serve, and Jesus is uh a great example himself. Look at he was the hands and feet of people, of his servants. So if you can serve others and be kind and be generous and be empathetic and be loving, lead with love, you're you can make some mistakes because God's gonna forgive you 70 times seven. And if you know that is not 490, it's not, it's infinite.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

I think I'm past that one.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

So that infinite spirit of forgiveness and grace and mercy, that obedience, that fellowship, that love, leading with love, that consistency of message, whether it's what people like or not. My relationship with God is my own, it's personal. I know Him. We talk daily. I die daily for God and for Jesus. Not everybody has to accept that, but I tell you what, they're definitely gonna know that I do. So that light will shine.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

Yeah, and the I think as a as a believer, it's understanding that we know every we know one day every knee will bow. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess Jesus Christ, the Lord, just plain and simple. Along the way, though, I I love how you just speak towards the love for humanity about loving your fellow man. Because I think there's a lot of people that walk in darkness feeling unloved. Um, has there been a point in your life where you've felt unloved or unworthy?

Confidence Misread As Arrogance

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Yeah, I mean, I know we talked about this when we first met, and uh I wanted to keep this to a minimum, but I sometimes feel ostracized from my community in the sports world because I'm not the drafted. I'm not a millionaire, even though I do well financially. I feel that I've been blackballed from the Canadian Football League because we had so much success in Calgary, and I'm no longer allowed to coach up there when I mean my success is documented. I've never let that stop me from loving the CFL or my brothers, because I am my brother's keeper. I am, I am, but I do have this void in me because when I was coaching in the CFL, I was doing some really amazing things, things that were groundbreaking, things were record-breaking. And because people didn't like my personality, kinda like Deion Sanders, like I'm often compared to him. Because I was a great player, charismatic coach, very good DB coach, knew it in and out. But people don't like him for the same reasons because of his confidence. He'll say, I'm him. He'll say, look good, play good, pay good, live good, eat good, you know, die good. He will talk about his passions. He will own them. He has ownership over those things he loves, even though ownership is very hard to come by these days. And people will hate or love Dion, there's no in-between. And that's the way we're with me. I mean, to be honest, I've been compared to him much of my career. I am not him. I'm me. Capital M E. I am me. Khalil Carter. I stand by that. But I also know that there is some accountability for me for how I present that. That meekness is the greatest strength. And my confidence that gets sometimes mistaken for arrogance, it's still my responsibility to share with my brothers in a palatable way. I come in a room, I sometimes intimidate, sometimes I overpower, sometimes I outshine because I'm just so used to fighting for everything that I have when the victory is already won. And if I just learn those lessons in my next however many years we say we got a short lifespan, probably about 70 years for most athletes or less. If I can just learn that lesson in my next 20 years, I turn 50 here in a month, I know that my journey will be complete and I and the Lord will be proud of me and say, good job, son. You have finally arrived. And now you are you're welcome. Even though I know victory's there and he got a place for me in heaven, I want to make heaven more crowded.

SPEAKER_03 36:11

Ah, ah. You know what? You're taking you're taking all my material here, man. Like I'm just like, okay, I gotta ask him about this. We gotta talk about that. Oh, look, I guess he's taken care of. Oh, let's see if I got anything else here. Looking around me for pieces. Uh you've touched on a few wonderful things. The humility factor is huge because, and I like literally took the words out of my mouth, mistaking confidence for arrogance. It that that's a huge thing, especially being a confident person. And like you you feel bad when people are like mistake it for arrogance. And you almost like you, it's almost like you want to backtrack with them and be like, no, no, no, no, it's not what I meant, what I meant. It's my old running joke. I had a I got a badge for being humble, but they I they took it away from me because I was wearing it for too much. But it's like I I like you wanna be, there's gotta be a sense of being proud and confident of the things that you've been blessed with. Yeah, but you're not doing it to showboat. It's Joseph's Joseph's got a colorful coat. He's got a colorful coat. And or hey, look at the dreamer, let's get rid of him. And it it happens more than we think. Where people get ostracized or they get they get taken out at the knees. As a believer, what do you do in response to that outside of the humility? What does that how what does that provide you with for for fuel?

SPEAKER_02 38:06

I I can tell you that I failed many times at this. I have I've gotten angry. I have been prideful in a good and bad way because good pride is good and bad pride is bad. I've been both. I'm learning in my age that it's okay to fail. It's okay to be imperfect. God will love me through it. Um, but I still know that there's accountability for me to make those make those things right, to make those things new, to to be a bridge. Okay, be a bridge for others. And that in in this particular space in my life, like Dion said, and this this may sound arrogant to some, like he said it, he not me. I I agree with it, but he said it. He said, Why would I care about what someone else thought about me when I don't think that about myself? Now that's that's that's a slippery slope there, because that lends to a lot of narcissism things too now. And I've been called that too. But I'm empathetic, I'm accountable, I do apologize, I do reflect, I do repent. So narcissism doesn't work on me, even though I've taken the DSM V category, and I failed it. Because four of the questions are do you think highly of yourself? And as a pro-athlete, I did. I did. I was proud. So that pride in that, I think it gets misconstrued with people who don't have those highs and then they don't understand our lows because our lows to them are still highs, right? And it's just unfortunate that people will judge, but there is some judgment that is required or allowable as a Christian brother. I may come to you, but I have to pick the speck out of my own eye before I pick the log out of yours. And it says judge not, for yet you be judged, and that God's the ultimate judge. But as Christians, it does say that you can judge character, you can judge intention, even though you should assume best intention. We are here to discern, right? We have a I have a spiritual gift of discernment and prophecy. I can feel energy, I can tell when someone's being disingenuous because I study and I'm connected to my source, but I get it wrong so many times, dad. I fail so many times, and as many times as I fall down, I only get up because I know what my my my end goal is. It's just to be usable by the Lord. I want to still be usable. Yeah, you can use use me up, God. Use me all the way up. And I think it's then my brother uses me up, and then I feel angry. And so that's a hard, that's a hard thing to deal with.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

And you touched on it too, and I think it ties into what you just said. When you're engaged in God's word and you spend time in God's word, and you spend time with him, and you're surrounding yourself, show me your friends, I'll show you your future really quick. At the same at the same time, it's like, okay, well, you'll start understanding about how the Lord's blessed you. And the Bible says he gives gifts, not just gift, but it's plural. And it's like when you start talking about things, you're like, okay, well, but what does it mean to be like uh the the delivery of a servant? What what does it mean to be um hospitable? It redefines things. I'll give you an example: hospitality. Oh, okay, well, I have the gift of hospitality. It doesn't mean like every Tuesday you have people over for lunch. That doesn't, that's not what it means all the time. It means all of a sudden, like someone needs something, you're take the coat off of your back and provide it. Whether it's about hosting, whether it's about giving, whether it's about serving, it's about putting yourself like Mary served Jesus. She was quietly working in the background, doing her thing, not drawing attention to herself. Some people work well in silence. When you talk about like even uh prophetic and and and it's not people hear that term and they're like, well, no, it's uh like a crystal ball, tell them the future. No, it's like it's delivering the word of God to people with purpose, and it's like giving them exactly what they need to hear. And you know what? Our conversation right now, where you're bringing up things that are drawing things out of me, and I'm bringing up things that are drawing things out of you, and all of it goes back to God. And so it's like I my hope and my prayer is that the listener, if someone's new to Christianity or they're curious, go to the word of God. Go to the word of God. But here's more importantly, before you crack that book, ask for help. Ask God for help because God will reveal Himself to you if you ask. God help me. I'm trying to understand you. I'm trying to figure you out, I'm trying to figure out who Jesus is. I have no clue. Open it up and show me. I need to hear something from you. Tell me about when you came to know the Lord.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

That's a good story now. So I grew up to the offspring of two addicts. Um, my father wasn't around, my mother was very brilliant, educated woman, but single mom.

Finding Jesus And Serving After Football

SPEAKER_02 43:39

And I watched her struggle with her addiction to sobriety from 13 to probably 44. Uh, she just got sober about six years ago, and uh it's amazing to see her journey now. But um, when she was going through her toughest times, I was sort of left without leadership and guidance, especially spiritual. She she she she planted the seed, but I had to till the ground. Okay, because God's gonna water the field. So I I I often got that backwards at times, thinking which one God did. Well, God could do all three. But in my life, my mom planted the seed. I tilled the ground, did the work, and God watered the field for me to bring fruit in my season. And I think. When I was 19 years old, I was pledging my fraternity. If I made a sign with the same fraternity as Emmy Smith and Jerry Rice. And I just felt like the Bible says, number one, seek his face. Number two, it says, when your parents forsake you, God will take you up. So God immediately came to me and said, You know what? Your father is still here. You've been missing that dad. I've been here all along. So I started to build that relationship with my father and start speaking to him literally every day, learning how to bullet prayer and say a prayer right now. I felt the Spirit talk to him immediately, have conversations with God, quiet time in the morning, prayer at night. And at 19, I accepted Jesus Christ in my life as my Lord and Savior. I confess with my mouth and believe my heart that God is the Son of Man, and He was raised from the dead. And that at that moment I was saved. And then I got married at age 20, because I had a kid at 18, just being a product of insufficient supervision and leadership. I had a baby and then I did right by her. I married her. She had my kid. I wasn't going to shack with her. I wasn't going to continue to live in sin. I married her. And that was one of the best decisions I made because God saw that and He blessed me. Because who is this guy that's walk on and wants to be a pro? Who is this guy? He's not, he played one year of college football, didn't, didn't make no major awards, kind of undersized, slow to develop. And then after that time, oh my God. Did God do some mighty things for me in my life when it came to the things that I wanted? He blessed me. He let me inherit all of the things that he had promised me. And I just had to be faithful. And again, I failed many times. But I kept being faithful. And he blessed me. And that marriage didn't last. It lasts 10 years from 20 to 30. And that's as long as my career lasted too. Because he was like, Oh, you're going to leave this marriage, huh? I got you. And I said, you know what, Lord? I promise I made a pact with God. Once I got married and accepted in Jesus Christ, I said, you know what, God, I'm going to be obedient to you. He said, Oh, son, I'm going to be, I'm going to give you what you want. I'm going to just put pro ball. But when you're done, you got to serve me. So as soon as I retired, I went into ministry. And I was a minister for three years at one of the biggest Lutheran churches in America, Lutheran Church of Hope in Des Moines, Iowa. And they poured into me so much. That's how I know the scripture. That's how I know how God works in my life. All the revivals and the healing prayer and the soaking prayer and the hands. I was on the prayer team, the women's ministry, the men's ministry, the youth ministry, the communication team. I had, I was a director of the sports ministry of over 5,000 kids. I mean, God was just doing some amazing things. And then there was a point in time when he said, okay, I want you to try coaching again. And I was unsure because I thought that I wasn't done with my journey. And I tried it, but I tried it using my own design again. And I failed again. I forgot everything I just learned. And he put me right back on my butt. And so here I am doing ministry again. I'm going to be the NFL PA chaplain for the Arizona chapter. I'm going to a church with the chaplain for the Arizona Cardinals, learning from him. Currently, I'm up here serving in Montreal, Canada right now. A brother who's building a prep team for these young men who need leadership. God said, try it again this time, but serve me and not yourself. Oh Lord, thank you, Jesus. So from 19 to now, thank you, Lord. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 49:00

What a wow, what a word of a journey. Um, it's amazing how God can put us through that that that fire over and over and over again. And it's that refining, and it's like, Lord, I I want to be more like your son, and I know that there's a process involved in it. It it's a tough slug and road. I I think if you drew the map at the age of 18, it would be a tough sell, wouldn't it? But at the same time, when you understand the process and you're going through it, you just want the process. Yeah. God, I want the process. I want to keep me going through it.

SPEAKER_02 49:41

Couldn't be in a fiery furnace lower with you. That's right. That's right with you.

SPEAKER_03 49:45

That's right, exactly. And if the guy's got some cool names like Shadrach, Meek Shek, and Rengo, we'll hang out with those guys too. Okay, I you 50 years, you're turning 50. I wanted to touch on that. Notice that ahead of time. Um, the first 50 years, you got a book. Uh you got a book for it. Um, is there gonna be another book in the next 50 years, too?

SPEAKER_02 50:07

I I may if if the Lord allows, yes, I want to. This is full with scripture, full with ministry, full with tales of triumph, victory, failure, repentance, and understanding. So if you have a chance to the in-crowd Khalil Cardo on Amazon and Barnes Noble or Khalil Cardo.com, it's just a way for guys to put themselves back into faith, even despite all of the adversity and troubles that this world is currently seeing. We are in a very good and bad time.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the way you put that. And I'll tell you why, real quick, and I'm gonna let you continue. It's bad because things aren't gonna get any better before the Lord returns. But the opportunity right now, the amount of people listening. What's different about you, Khalil? What's different? There's something about you. What is it? The chance to show Christ has been there like it's never been before.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Amen. Yes, Lord. Yes, yes, absolutely, Dan. I and I accept the challenge. My name Khalil has a very powerful meaning in scripture. It's it's more Arabic, but it is the name that God called Abraham, he called it Khalil, which means friend or beloved, and it translates into the hand of God, a messenger, a servant, the hands and feet of God, like I said before. And I had to really, I always knew what my name meant, and I always knew what the calling was. I don't know if I was ever courageous to stand on it, or humble enough to do it correctly, because I failed, right? I failed daily too. And I'm now understanding that that's the only way he's gonna let me have what I want now is to continue to be humble and serve him and put him first. I call it put myself third. God others than myself. Teach my kids the same thing. I put myself third. And there was a football player coach that I met back in 02 when I was playing for the Toronto Fans in the AFL. And he used to talk about your P, your P being hot. Keep your P hot, your prayer, your perseverance, yeah, yeah, yep, yeah. Um, your precision, yeah, your I mean, just all the P's. I mean, it's so many great P's uh out there. I mean and I and I kept thinking about how I can apply that to the world and to myself. And it was just every day, every chance, every hour, every minute, just intentionality. And again, it's not easy, and I'm not great at it. I just try every day, every minute, every hour to be my best. Not your best, not as good as the Lord. I can't never be the Lord, but be the best Khalil that I can be, knowing what my name means, knowing what God means to me, and knowing what God's intentionality is for the world is love. God is love. He lives in our heart, not in our minds, not in our pride, not in our gut, even though he could if he wanted to. He chooses to live in our hearts. And when you leave with that, no amount of political, racial, just anything, any any type of category. None of that really matters to him.

SPEAKER_03 53:45

Oh, you gotta keep that in mind. You are touching on something, and it got touched on a little bit before. Agendas, they're easy to come up with. And I think one of the temptations that I'm seeing a lot with a lot of just people in general is getting attached to an agenda. Um, different than an agenda, because I think it's important to have

Coach Swag And Serving Others

SPEAKER_03 54:07

we uh we love acronyms. We all love acronyms. It's important to have models, it's important to have things that encourage us to that spur things out of people. One of the things that's tied to you, Coach Swag, is swag. Tell me a little bit about this motto and what's the purpose behind it.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

Yeah, so definitely serving. That S in in swag is all about serving, has nothing to do with being well dressed, even though I'm a little spiffy at times. I will say that. Swag is serving a wonderful and amazing God. That is true. Swag. People can see it, it's palatable, people can feel it, and when you're genuine and authentic, people want to know it. And the other part of my swag is students, coaching students working towards athletic academic goals. Because I think that's my true gift. That's why I look as young as I do, is because I'm able to relate to young people. And I, as a teacher and an educator, even if it's of sport, my job is to get them to understand how God uses the good and the bad. The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. No one is exempt, no one can go, no one deserves grace. We all have to ask for it, we all have to pray for it, we all have to sometimes even beg for it, even though God don't make you beg too long before he shows up for you. That swag to me, people, you know, again, they misinterpret it, just like they do with Coach Prime. That swag to me is something that's a gift that I help to people to see. That inner you, your inner power, you have that swag, but it's about serving others. That's when your true swag comes out. And that's what I've been trying to do for the last decade of my life since I retired or so, is to serve others, including my family, serve my community, serve righteousness, serve, you know, the right agenda, which is not mine, is God's. If if it you can call an agenda, his purpose, his passion, all the peas. Like I said, the P's are so amazing. If I can do that and look myself in the mirror every day, I know my swag is dripping, baby.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

I love how you said I got a young face, so I can relate to the young people. Well, you're two years older than me, so I got an old, but I got an old looking face, so I can relate to the old people, maybe that's it. All the grain all the grain in my beard. Um we're opposites, we're backwards. Uh that's fine. I'll I'll keep on I'll keep on mentoring the old guys. You keep on mentoring the young guys. No, that's approach. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. I I want you to to do me a favor and I want you to speak to the young athlete that's listening. Maybe there's someone who doesn't understand swag the way that you do. Um, maybe they'd rather, it's all about um bling and lifestyle and and making it big. Um give them some stern advice on what the cost involved in that is.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

Yeah. Young men, young man, young woman. It still makes a sound when it falls and no one sees it. True character is there, whether people see it or not. Character and faith go hand in hand. Be true to yourself. Know where you came from in order to know where you're going. Don't ever lose sight of yourself and God's purpose for your life. You want to make God laugh, tell him your plan for your life. Okay? Tell him your plan for your life. But I want you to understand that the sacrifice, the commitment, and the obedience to the word of God will allow you to bypass a lot of the sin that you're going to experience. You just have to be willing to see it for what it is. I say stay connected to that source. Don't step away from it. Don't let temptation and sin move you away from your faith. Listen to your parents, honor thy mother and thy father, and their days will be long. Parents, don't provoke your children to wrath. It's a two-way street, and you gotta understand both sides of that beautiful coin that God flipped for us. But just know that it's the battle is not yours either. You're trying to fight every battle, you're trying to win every battle. Give it to the Lord. The sooner you realize that giving your battles to the Lord creates victory for you in every way. Your worries, your fears, your your failures mean very little. Your successes, your victories mean the same to him. Don't try to be someone you're not. Be who your mother in the end, you're gonna when you stop playing, you're gonna go back to being who your mama raised you to be anyway. I'm I'm Linda Rollins' son. No matter what, when I was a superstar, I was Linda Rowland's son. When I stopped playing, I was Linda Rowland's son. So I'll be that man. Just don't forget that man, that woman, that that girl, that boy inside of you. Get to know them, make sure that they grow up too. The Bible says have a childlike faith for a reason that a child shall lead us because that part of us that's in there needs to grow up. So don't grow up, young people. Don't see keep playing video games and living a lifestyle that's not possible to live for the eternity of your existence. Give your life to God, give your battles to God, give your fear to God, give your sin to God, give yourself. It's a song called I Give Myself Away, so you can use me. That is true purpose. If you don't stand for anything, you will fall for everything. Stand for righteousness, godliness, faithfulness, service, obedience.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:24

It's a lot. It takes a lot, and it's a lifelong pursuit. Don't ever give up on you. Don't ever give up on God, and He'll never give up on you.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:36

I want to take that and bottle it and send one copy to you and send one copy to me about 26 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:44

Come on, that's it. That's the part right there. That's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

I I think everyone at one point stops and looks back. And I think it's important to do what you just said, besides breaking out in song on our on our podcast. I think that's a you're the first one ever to do it. So I I love that you got it right there. But I think it's I think what you just said to speak so loud because there's so many things there that I think you wish you heard when you were a kid. And I wish I heard when I was a kid. And I, you know what, hey, I I made mistakes. I often say I made mistakes with with a lot of zeros on them. But even the ones that didn't cost me anything monetarily, it cost me world hurt. Oh, yeah. And and I think if I could go back and talk to the younger version of myself, it wouldn't just be for my own pain, but I think I look back and I just think about what I what I placed on my savior. And I just Lord, if I could have just if I could put one less thing on you.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

Yeah, I made his job hard. I did, yeah. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:51

Oh, but it just it just makes you appreciate him that much more, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. I'm so thankful, I'm so grateful.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

You know, it's all called Grateful, Grateful, Grateful, Grafe, Gratefulness is flowing from our heart. That gratefulness that we have as we age and we still have life. Don't wait till you're on your deathbed, people, to get to know that gratefulness. Do it while you have breath in your lungs and life in your veins. Do it now and live your life of faith and gratefulness so you can know God and He can know you. So good.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:27

Well, we got come to this part of the show where we give you five quick questions. Keep you on your toes. Rumor has it, you're fast on your toes still. So we're gonna keep you quick on your toes and give you quick questions, quick responses. They don't have to be very long, they can be longer if you want. I'm not gonna punish you. But I want you to keep you keep

Quickfire Questions And Final Prayer

SPEAKER_03 1:02:47

you sharp here. Are you ready? I'm ready. All right, sounds good. Do you know how to skate? I do. What not well, but I know. Well, you know, okay. Now, does it help if there's a stick in your hand to lean on? No, it does not.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:02

I'm on ice, I'm terrible. I'm more like roller skating good. I'm not ice skating good. It hurts my ankles and my calves, they make it sore.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:10

It's a it's a workout. I you know what the the people I've taken, they've come to Edmonton and I've taken them skating or they've done something for the first time, and they cannot believe the physical demands of just simply being on blades, on balancing on steel on ice, and then also the pain that comes with falling down? Uh, we often talk about in the first season, we talked a lot about if you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, but this season we've changed it up a little bit. If you could go 20 years into the future and give Khalil a word that you would not want yourself to forget, what would you tell that 70-year-old self?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:03

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself, have some mercy on yourself. I'm really hard on myself. I'm always trying to reinvent myself and improve. Have a little bit of grace for yourself too. Um, and then also I would say I accomplished a lot of things that I wanted, some mission accomplished in some ways. I've done a lot of good for someone who came from as low as I came. And I'm just grateful that I had the opportunity to overcome many of it without and still be alive. I mean, I I could be in my demographic, especially looking like I'm still 24 to 40, whatever, I could have easily been dead or subjected to some type of violence or whatever brutality. Just always be thankful and mindful of others and your journey.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:58

Yeah, God saved you from a few different things, hasn't He? Yes, he has. And that's for the next podcast. Okay, favorite pregame meal? Pineapples.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:10

What? Yes, every game. I watched pineapple and I watched the movie Five Heartbeats because I'm a singer, as you can tell. And I didn't want to think of nothing about football or the game or the pressure or the fans until I got into the stadium. I watched five heartbeats every game, and I ate pineapples for breakfast, and that just wasn't my routine.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:29

Okay, so do you mix it up? Do you like have what you crushed pineapple one day, pineapple chunks the other day?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:34

Nah, I like the big rings, baby. Give me the big rings. I like to do that and go in, baby, and then watch my show and sing my songs and feel good and happy and go to the game and then turn on that that other side of me.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:47

Ah, so good, so good. Uh, go to Bible verse.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:53

I think Psalms 1-1. It just describes so many things about me and my the temptation around me, um the ability to self-reflect and also to use discernment about others. Because so much of what happens to you can be energy from other people or how you respond. Life is 90%, uh, 10% how what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it. And someone told me only losers talk about what happens to them, winners talk about what happens for them. And I was like, oh yes. So, yes, absolutely. The Psalm 1-1 for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:32

You and I got a couple things in common. Uh, I think one of them is favorite quotes. Uh you seem to we seem to be quoting a lot of people in this episode. Um give me a famous quote to end our time together before we pray.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:48

Oh, so this one's gonna be a little bit weird because it's been kind of like scrutinized recently in the media, but I love the scene from Pulp Fiction where Samuel Jackson has his reflection. And he says, The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquity and tyranny of selfish men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and a finder of lost children. Now, the net the rest of it I don't love to strike down upon you as God. I don't like that part. But I like the retort at the end of the movie. He says, For a long time I thought that that was just some cold stuff to say before he did his deed. He said, But what I'm realizing now is that he had a choice. He could either be the tyranny of evil men or he could be the shepherd. And he said, I'm trying, Rico. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd because I know that where I come from and my community sometimes allow me to be the villain or play the victim or blame. When in my true purpose is none of that. My trip is to be the shepherd and to shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness. Because I am truly my brother's keeper and a finder of lost children. Favor quote.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:14

Okay. I just gotta warm up my arms. I got some goosebumps happening there. Ah, let's go to the Lord. Heavenly Father, Heavenly Father, we come before you right now. We thank you so much for this conversation and this time we've been able to have together. Lord, what a blessing it is to be able to call uh converse just as men and talk about you and talk about the sports that we love and the things that we love to do. Um, Lord, we just pray that you bless uh Khalil and just bless him in the opportunities that you give him. May he be found as a shepherd serving you, and that you would receive all glory, honor, and praise in his life. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:55

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:57

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